Codependency
Codependency is a pattern of relating — not a diagnosis — and it's more common than most people realize. If you find yourself consistently prioritizing others' needs at the expense of your own, losing yourself in relationships, or taking responsibility for other people's feelings and choices, therapy can help you find your way back to yourself.
What It Can Look Like
- check_circle Difficulty knowing what you need, want, or feel independent of others
- check_circle Taking responsibility for other people's emotions, problems, or behavior
- check_circle Feeling anxious, guilty, or resentful when you set limits
- check_circle Staying in relationships that aren't healthy out of obligation or fear
- check_circle Deriving your sense of worth primarily from being needed
- check_circle Difficulty making decisions without seeking approval
- check_circle Neglecting your own needs, goals, or interests to focus on others
- check_circle Fear that honesty will destroy the relationship
Codependency often develops in environments where connection felt conditional — where love had to be earned, where someone else's emotional state was your responsibility, where being "good" meant being selfless. The relational habits that helped you survive those environments can become patterns that limit you in adult relationships.
Breaking codependent patterns isn't about becoming selfish or cold — it's about developing a genuine self that can connect authentically rather than from fear. That means learning to identify your own needs, communicate them clearly, hold your own ground, and allow others to take responsibility for themselves.
This is often some of the most meaningful work clients do in therapy. And it ripples out — into your relationships, your sense of self, and the choices you make about how you want to live.
My Approach
I work with codependency through a combination of attachment theory, schema-focused work, CBT, and boundary-setting practice. We look at the origins of the pattern, the beliefs that sustain it, and build the specific relational skills — assertiveness, differentiation, self-compassion — that support a healthier way of connecting.